Arbonne 30 Day Feeling Fit: My experience, beginning with a background check!

As the bacon cooks and the coffee brews, I write this,on my 4th day into the Arbonne detox. If you don't know, the plan involves cutting out dairy, alcohol, wheat or gluten, coffee, sugar, and sticking to whole, organic foods. Substituting one or two meals per day with their vegan protein shakes, fit chews, fizzy energizing drinks, detox tea, fiber booster. The 30 day kit comes with a 30 day supply of these items. I mentioned the bacon and coffee to give you a visual as to what I am up against while undergoing this detox. I was never a big bacon person, but it does smell good! And coffee is my absolute best friend. I used to want to go to sleep sooner just so i could wake up and have that magnificent first cup of the day. Here's a little back story on me, for perspective. If you scroll throught my past blogs, you will see that I am a chronic overeater. I have struggled with what to eat, and more importantly, how much, most of my life. I try to think back to when I started noticing how much I was eating or when it I started to gain weight. When I was a kid, candy was my thing (no surprise there). And lots of sugar and salt. I remember one of my favorite snacks was to get a package of chocolate pudding mix and put it in the bottom of a glass. Then pour milk on top, and slowly take spoonfuls of the powdered sugary chocolate mix and milk together. Heaven! M and Ms and Twix bars were also favorites. A friend actually gave me a super sized bag of them for Christmas because my affinity for them was well known. I would have to say in high school is when i started to gain some weight (I was always super thin as a kid). Its common to gain weight at this time for all people, but my eating habits could and should have changed. I was never huge, just uncomfortable at times, but no big deal. After High School I was kind of lost. I had a falling out with my family and basically did not have a stable place to live. I had this boyfriend, an Ivy league type, who I Idolized. He was everything my family was not, and I wanted in! He had a plan that we would move up to Cape Cod (he had an obsession with the Kennedy's!) after HS Grad (mine, he was 6 years older) and we would work and play for the summer. He left ahead of me. I was to meet him there, and I was determined to look great! For 1 month I ate nothing but ONE tuna fish sandwich every day. I lost alot of weight, and I got a new dress and a perm, and when i stepped off that Greyhound bus, I got the AH HA moment I was hoping for: HOW AMAZING YOU LOOK, VICKI! And I felt amazing! It was great while it lasted. Pretty soon we developed a routine. I got a job as a hostess at a fine dining restaurant, while he got a job as a waiter in a really fun, on the strip, mexican happy hour type of place. If you put the pieces of the puzzle together you will soon figure out they could not possibly fit. He was older, he was of age to drink and go to bars (which he liked to do ALOT (he was an alcoholic, I have come to believe, and since his Mom for sure was, its even easier to come to that conclusion). So, I would work my shift, get off around 9 and could not go to where he worked because it would turn into a bar after dinner hours, and they were proofing at the door. So, after he was done working, he would stay and hang out with the staff and drink till close. Maybe not so much at first, but by the time we had spent half the summer together in our rented motel room, it was becoming more frequent. I got lonely, depressed, didn't know anyone. So Ben and Jerry's became my best friend. I would visit them every night or day after my shift. I just ate alot to numb my pain. Pain from the fantasy I manufactured gone awry, from my relationship starting to fall apart after a year and a half, being alone and not knowing when we returned to New York what would happen and where I would live. By the end of the summer I had gained all the weight back and more I am sure, although I didn't weigh myself at the time, just went by how I felt. And it was hard because I had brought clothes that fit my skinnier body, so things were not feeling good on me. When we returned to New York, we lived with his alcoholic mother till i got my own place with a roommate. That was no fun, for sure. Thing never recovered between us after that summer, and we broke up about 6 months later (he with me, because I appeared to be a loser with no prospects. He was around all of these interesting, intelligent girls at Columbia, and I had nothing going on, just my Restaurant job and a stint at a community college, which I hated. I don't blame him as i look back. So, for the next few years I auto-piloted my way through life, always trying to figure out a plan, but getting increasing anxious. I did try out various classes, and travelled to exotic places like Malta, but I was uneasy the whole time wondering what would become of me. So, eating was a familiar way to console myself, and I did. I would binge eat until I just couldn't eat any more and then I would fall asleep and it was okay for a while. I moved to New York city, where the beautiful people live, and realized I needed to get into some serious shape, so I started exercising regularly. I got a job bartending at a nightclub, and quickly realized that it was more important in the eyes of the gorgeous bartenders working there, that a girl has a killer body than a pretty face. I had a very pretty face, but my body was no match for the girls that either worked there or dated my dream guys behind the bar. I was determined to compete, I lost weight, got noticed, even got some dates and make out sessions, but I came to realize, I had very little in common with the jocks whose attention I so craved. They were all fun wrestler types, really HOT, but that's all i got from them. NEVER MIND, in the final analysis. Weight went up and down throughout my twenties, (the heaviest for me was in Malta when I was 20 because once again, I isolated myself from people i knew. I was lonely in a foreign place!) I stayed with friends while i was there but it is a very different culture and I didn't have too many other friends besides them. Then I met my husband to be. On one of our first dates we met at a diner for breakfast. I took a double take as he ordered Belium Waffles with Ice Cream! Who does that??? The low fat craze of the 90's was in effect at this time, so I was eating low fat (highly sugary, caloric, but who knew?) Bran muffins!!! What shocked me is that he ordered exactly what he wanted without a second thought. And HE WAS IN SHAPE AND kind of RIpped! I do beleive that is the secret to it all: have what you want when you are genuinely hungry and you won't overeat because you know you can have it again whenever you want. But, now with my knowledge of nutrition, I couldn't possibly eat the tempting junk food, partly because of what i know, I really don't want it, no matter how good it tastes. So with my new partner, since he wasn't dieting or exercising, i eventually stopped to0 and just ate what I wanted when I wanted, and for the most part I did not overeat, and for the most part, did not binge! Food and I just existed, and I thought, WOW I am SO OVER THAT! No more!!! WHEW! And then I started getting older. And what i was eating was beginning to show up in unflattering ways. My brother in law, a few years back, sealed the deal when he off handedly mentioned I was gaining a little weight. Now, to know him is to love him, so don't get mad at him. He is awesome, and was half kidding, but I knew that I wasn't as comfortable as I could be and what i was eating could improve. So I started going to the local kickboxing class. Then I subbed a few times for the teacher. Then I would teach an occasional step class. Then I started gettting obssessed again about the whole diet, exersise thing Then I got certified to teach zumba Started teaching classes Got certified as group exercise instructor Continued teaching all the while monitoring my weight, food intake, etc. (I can honestly say I am happy for these turn of events becase I feel much healthier, and I know I am with my diet choices! I have a realy interest in how best to fuel, care for and maintain the body!!) So here I am today. Through these years of teaching, I have been at my very lowest weight and now hover around a bit heavier, but no where near where I had been in Malta. Gosh, I haven't been there in YEARS! And I never will. I set my standards and now work to attain my goals. I want to be towards my lowest weight and stay there, but I keep telling myself that maybe because it is so hard to get there, that I am not supposed to be there. THIS DETOX WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR ME ONCE AND FOR ALL. IF I CUT OUT ALL THE JUNK, WILL IT BE EASY TO MAINTAIN THE WEIGHT I WANT? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. THIS IS ENOUGH TO READ TODAY. I will be back tomorrow with facts from my experience. I guess I just needed to write about this, and didn't even know it! So, here it is, be kind ladies! Exposing oneself is never easy, but my goal is to help others and I think it does to hear of other's struggles too. Now, do I push the PUBLISH BUTTON?

learning CURVES

I always knew i ate too much, but seeing in in black and white on my computer screen is really helping me see where i am going wrong. According to my vitabot statistics i should be eating a max of 1540 calories a day. Today i had 2740! Not good! I have been eating on the healthy side (although on my report card my fat and calories section i got an "F". So, i see that really granola for breakfast is out. It contains just too many calories for a portion that would satisfy me. the problem is i have some huge bags of it and i love it and don't want it to go to waste (but it is going to WAIST). So, i need to make a plan and the plan is i am going to make granola bars with it, and use them in my catering business or donate them or give them to friends in gift baskets...YES that is it. Ok, see, problem solved. Now, the problem of eating too many calories high in fat, even if it is good fat. Back away from the nuts...and carbs...I did a strenous bootcamp workout today, that is the good news, but i think exercise makes you even more hungry, a dilemma. Good news today, no bad sweets ( dark chocolate i think is ok and i had only one serving of it, didn't go back for more) the exercise was of course, good. Other good news is i was down on the scale 2 lbs. mainly due to the fact i hadn't had any wine, and when i do have a glass i tend to eat more...today probably put me back to where i was but i WILL do better tomorrow. This first week of vitabot has helped me to see i need to make better choices. There are so many foods out there that i can eat alot of that result in fewer calories (think dark leafy greens). More good news, i bought an olive oil spray mist bottle so i can use less oil on things....that is one of my other bad habits, i love olive oil and use it often and liberally. it is very highly caloric!!!! So happy to have Zumba Class tomorrow :)

Vitabot: An eye opener

I am not one for math, let me just say that right off. When too many numbers are thrown at me, it all becomes a blur. I just don't enjoy precision. That is why i don't bake. I like to COOK. To create, a little of this a little of that... So for me to attempt to use Vitabot, the online nutrition guidance counselor, basically, is a big step... it is a testament to how much i want to live a healthy lifestyle ON A REGULAR basis and what lenghts i will take to get there. Vitabot is a great tool. For my first day, i really needed to get the feel for it and see where i was at with my daily routines...like i said, i never really counted calories as precisely as Vitabot is suggesting i do. But it is not abou counting calories only. I loved that my "report card" would actually show me where i was lacking nutritionally. AND give me the knowledge and info to fix that. So, i started off with my normal routing: upon waking i make coffee...i usually have 2 large cups with at least 2 T of half and half and 1T of sugar per cup. Well that adds up to: 250 calories! Just for the coffee...when your whole breakfast is technically supposed to be around 400 calories,that does not leave much room for food. HMMMM ok, so i will have one cup...now i can have my granola (one cup) with 1 cup almond milk with one scoop of protein powder and i can't remember what else i had, but it came to over 700 calories! for breakfast...beleive me i wa not eating donuts. i might as well have been. Long story short, when the day was done, and when i finally put all my recipes/nutrition labels in, i was at 2056 calories for the day! Without a glass of wine! My only sweet for the day was 2 squares of dark chocolate. This is a typical day for me eating wise i would say, and unfortunatley, my recommended caloric allowance is somewhere between 1200 and 1560 calories. I think the lower if i wanted to lose and the higher to maintain. YIKES. So i have some tweaking to do. And my report card scores were mostly bad grades! I would say 50/50 but definitley much room for improvement. I ate all those calories, but yet i was borderline starving myself nutirtionally. Oh wait, i was high in a couple of areas on my report card, carbs, SODIUM, Calories, all the bad stuff...i was low on Vitamin B12 so checking into vitabot's site, i found that i should add tuna to my meal plan tomorrow and that will take care of that! Now if i can only cut down the calories! At least i did hard core zumba for an hour, there is a bright side. First day an eye-opener for sure. But for anyone looking for a rude awakening, try Vitabot through your fitness provider! Has some kinks, but overall a great program to help you keep track of yourself!

Analyze This

Why does that strip of bacon, leftover white chocolate chip pancake on my kid's plate (insert your temptation here) beckon me to just mindlessly pop it in my mouth??) Why are bad habits so hard to break and good habits so quick to fall by the wayside? These are questions i could theorize, analyze, probably till i am old and gray. I am constantly wondering (aka self pity here) Why me?? Why can't I just eat when i am hungry, eat till i am satisfied (not full) and move on? Why is food an all consuming thought day in and out? I do have some quick theories: that strip of bacon would give me about 3 seconds of pleasure to allow me to forget that i am : tired, fed up with (insert here), running in too many directions....but that bacon does not last long, so then its on to the next thing, see my point. MANY people struggle with this. Some give in, eat what they want and buy the next pant size up. Some restrict themselves and are able to realize they are a grown up, what they put in their mouth is their choice, period and they will make the right ones. They have developed this thought pattern over the years, stick to it, and now it is habit for them. Some restrict themselves so much that one day they give in and gorge themselves promising that tomorrow they will restrict themselves again, so they better get as much as they can now cause they won't be allowed tomorrow. I fall somewhere in the middle. I do NOT want to buy the next size up. But i am not a grown up either when it comes to my choices food and drink wise. This is why i fluctuate up and down physically and mentally speaking. My favorite (and i am being sarcastic here) is when i pretend that i don't care: So what if my pants are a little tight, have you seen those OTHER people who are WAY bigger than me? Does anyone care if MY pants are tight? The answer to that is NO, no one cares, EXCEPT YOU. YOU DO CARE. Feeling comfortable in one's own skin and clothes is paramount, it is priceless. No one else's size or personal best matters except your own. So even if you are smaller than most, if you are not at a place where you feel comfortable, healthy, then this drawn out saga of poor me, i feel like crap today....will continue. The only time i don't care it seems is when i am reaching for the (insert guilt food here)...HOW CONVENIENT. So, today i am 100% back to caring. Luckily i have not stopped exercising and that has saved me, because my diet surely is nothing to be proud of for the past few months. I always point out (in my head) those "lucky" people who can eat anything they want (which is usually not that much) and still stay slim. It is just not true. 99% of people have to make conscious decisions EVERY DAY to choose the right foods and most importantly the AMOUNT of food, because i am really good at overeating HEalthy foods... I think as long as you don't give up, ever, you have a fighting chance. Maybe one day it will become habit. Not overeating, drinking, etc. Looking forward to the next round in the battle between me, myself and I.

Mind Games

I haven't written in a while because i was trying to figure out if i was ever going to stop self sabotaging myself. When the fit club challenge started the second time around, i had my normal ups and downs. Then i decided to really go for it, enough is enough. So for a week i was doing very well. No wine, no sweets, just good stuff. I was amazed at how easy it was ONCE I SET MY MIND TO IT. Making the wrong choices was just not an option. My birthday was coming up, so i decided when i went away i would splurge. That was fine, but the problem was once i made up my MIND to splurge, it was hard to stop. I felt fine about having cake, eggs benedict, wine. But getting back to the plan was hard because i knew i would have to deprive myself again. This is the wrong mindset. Its why this time around i devised the plan to allow for a little sugar, a little dark chocolate, that kind of thing.

Good news is i am so back on the plan. It just took me a couple of days more than i thought. The first couple of days back is always the toughest. The cravings and the temptation to just start tomorrow....very strong. THe difference this time, i hope, is to realize that it doesn't really matter what i eat once in a while, but its my habits most of the time that count.

My other big hurdle that i have been dealing with a long time is that i am an overeater. I happen to be a great cook :) so when i make something delish, i eat way too much of it. Even if it is the healthiest dish on the planet, overeating is overeating. Calories add up, even it they are healthy.

Yesterday, being one of those "back" days, was tough because i was feeling hungry alot. Whenever that hunger crept up, i promised myself i would go for something healthy. I had these amazing looking chocolate chip cookies on the counter, and i didn't touch them. Now, according to my new philosophy, i really should be able to have one if i want it and move on. But being the first few days back, i didn't want to start what might be something that could escalate. So, i ate a healthy dinner of salmon and salad (asian style). THen i ate 2 grapefruits and an apple. I was still craving sweets so i had a hot chocolate with hot water and almond milk. I was good after that. THis morning, the scale was down, so i did somehting right. Maybe the grapefruits??? Or the two and a half hours of Zumba yesterday!!!

MIND GAMES: SHORT TERM GOALS
i have a new strategy. Rather thatn trying to get fitter for my trip to florida (and the beach!), i have decided that if i reach my short term goal (fill in the blank here) then i will be able to (fill in the blank). For me it is being able to purchase these designer jeans that promise the bet fit ever. Now i want to buy them when i achieve my goal, so all the more reason to get there. And i am not far. The point is keep your mind on the prize. Allow little treats along the way, but setting these short term goals will add extra motivation when you are faced with the every day temptations that are just a fact of life.

I leave you with a few healthy snacks you can go to instead of the cookie jar, all under 100 calories:

25 Pistachios (that's a good number, huh?)
1 cup pineapple chunks, with 2T shredded coconut (yum)
1/2 cup cherrioes and half cup fat free milk (or 35 calorie almond milk)

Have a great day! I am off to a birthday party with the kids, and i will pass on the cake, thank you. I will just make sure i eat before i go!

It's All About What You Want

So, two days into our Fit Club challenge and i feel good. Great even. I know two days without a cheat doesn't seem like much, but i try take it one day at a time, and therefore, each day is an absolute victory. It is important to have goals, and keep your eye on the prize, no doubt. But it can also be overwhelming to be at point A, and want to get to Point B, realizing all too well all the time, effort and sacrifice it will take to get there. But they say anything worth having takes effort, right? Like the title today states, it is all about what you want and what is important to you. To me, nothing feels better than feeling comfortable in my own skin: my clothes fitting just right, feeling energetic, alert, alive, strong. In order to achieve this i need to eat properly, including all the elements of the plan we are on, as well as treats in most definite moderation. Now if what i wanted was different, i would have different rules that would apply to me. The thing is i don't think in terms of health and fitness, that there is anyone of us who would choose to be overweight, out of shape, lethargic, gluttonous. So, therefore, many adults (and many times i am one of them!) make choices that go against their desired outcome. If you eat junk, don't exercise, then you will get what you have planned for: poor health. Take this example: i was ranting and raving about how i hated being me, i hated how unorganized i was, but i told him all i can do was try . He pointed out to me that everything that happens to me is by my own doing. Its sad, but true. I could do many things differently (like focus on one task at a time rather that starting ten, lucky to finish one), i would be closer to my goal and not always feel like there is never enough time in the day.

With that said, what i want requires certain behavior. I am taking one day at a time, but today my menu consisted of (for ideas for you)

2 pcs of double fiber whole wheat bread with 2 T cottage Cheese
Plain non fat greek yogurt (1 cup) with flax ground, blueberries strawberries

Lunch: half avacado, red beans, peas, scallions with a bit of soy sauce and sesame oil

Peanut BUtter Sandwich whole wheat, 1 T agave, half green apple sliced on top.

I was craving something sweet, so i mads hot chocolate with almond milk ,chocolate whey powder, 1/4 cup lowfat milk, and a table spoon of ovaltine. It was good and satisfied the craving.

Dinner (MY TRIGGER MEAL) MOST PROUD OF THIS: I made lasagna for my family (and i make good lasagna!) and i did not have any. I didn't deny myself (do you know i've read that people deny themselves of their impulses (eating, sex, sleep, etc) hundreds of times a day?) I had a great salad with this awesome yogurt based parmesan dressing (found in the produce section of most stores) it had 45 calories per 2T and like 4.5 g of fat, not bad! the salad had lentils (protein), red onion, mushrooms, red pepper, yum. Very satisfying...getting back to the denial part. I really didnt. I thought about having a small pc of lasagna, but that choice would not get me closer to where i want to be, plus i had enough splurges over the holidays, so, i was all good with my decision. I told myself i would have it tomorrow for lunch if i still wanted it. We'll see...i have in the back of my mind the knowledge that white lasanga noodles will raise my glycemic (sugar) levels quickly and that excess sugar will be stored as fat! Yikes, maybe no lasagna. Whatever works! Whatever mind game i have to play with myself to stick with the program, Bring Em!

Take the Plunge

So I did something out of my comfort zone today: On New Years Day, i jumped into the Atlantic Ocean in Rhode Island with my family. I did it for several reasons. It wasn't like it was on my bucket list. I had never before felt the need to do this. but this year i thought it would be the perfect start. A way to cleanse my spirit and start anew. Although i have "started anew" countless times i once again continue pursuing my goals of health, fitness and wellbeing. I decided to look at the good choices i have made this year instead of focussing on the negative.

Yes, i have worked out this year steadily without fail. Becoming the instructor has forced me to be consistent, and i am proud i came up with and followed through with this plan. I will continue to do so.

What i have learned this year: YOU CANNOT OUT EXERCISE POOR DIET CHOICES. No matter how much you exercise, if you eat junk, you will continue to feel like garbage. Diet is more important than exercise. Exercise is great, help tone you, released endorphins, but your diet needs to be regulated, and balanced.

Yes, i have been eating much better. The problem is i eat too much. I also get overwhelmed sometimes, and eating temporarily satiates me. Will work on that.

New year, New plan, the difference this year: I WANT TO EXERCISE. Not only did i find an exercise i adore, but because i have been working out regularly for a long while now, when i can't exercise i crave it and i want to maintain the results because i have noticed some amazing results. I know if i don't do a little something everyday those results will disappear and i am not having that.