Analyze This

Why does that strip of bacon, leftover white chocolate chip pancake on my kid's plate (insert your temptation here) beckon me to just mindlessly pop it in my mouth??) Why are bad habits so hard to break and good habits so quick to fall by the wayside? These are questions i could theorize, analyze, probably till i am old and gray. I am constantly wondering (aka self pity here) Why me?? Why can't I just eat when i am hungry, eat till i am satisfied (not full) and move on? Why is food an all consuming thought day in and out? I do have some quick theories: that strip of bacon would give me about 3 seconds of pleasure to allow me to forget that i am : tired, fed up with (insert here), running in too many directions....but that bacon does not last long, so then its on to the next thing, see my point. MANY people struggle with this. Some give in, eat what they want and buy the next pant size up. Some restrict themselves and are able to realize they are a grown up, what they put in their mouth is their choice, period and they will make the right ones. They have developed this thought pattern over the years, stick to it, and now it is habit for them. Some restrict themselves so much that one day they give in and gorge themselves promising that tomorrow they will restrict themselves again, so they better get as much as they can now cause they won't be allowed tomorrow. I fall somewhere in the middle. I do NOT want to buy the next size up. But i am not a grown up either when it comes to my choices food and drink wise. This is why i fluctuate up and down physically and mentally speaking. My favorite (and i am being sarcastic here) is when i pretend that i don't care: So what if my pants are a little tight, have you seen those OTHER people who are WAY bigger than me? Does anyone care if MY pants are tight? The answer to that is NO, no one cares, EXCEPT YOU. YOU DO CARE. Feeling comfortable in one's own skin and clothes is paramount, it is priceless. No one else's size or personal best matters except your own. So even if you are smaller than most, if you are not at a place where you feel comfortable, healthy, then this drawn out saga of poor me, i feel like crap today....will continue. The only time i don't care it seems is when i am reaching for the (insert guilt food here)...HOW CONVENIENT. So, today i am 100% back to caring. Luckily i have not stopped exercising and that has saved me, because my diet surely is nothing to be proud of for the past few months. I always point out (in my head) those "lucky" people who can eat anything they want (which is usually not that much) and still stay slim. It is just not true. 99% of people have to make conscious decisions EVERY DAY to choose the right foods and most importantly the AMOUNT of food, because i am really good at overeating HEalthy foods... I think as long as you don't give up, ever, you have a fighting chance. Maybe one day it will become habit. Not overeating, drinking, etc. Looking forward to the next round in the battle between me, myself and I.