Arbonne 30 Day Feeling Fit: My experience, beginning with a background check!

As the bacon cooks and the coffee brews, I write this,on my 4th day into the Arbonne detox. If you don't know, the plan involves cutting out dairy, alcohol, wheat or gluten, coffee, sugar, and sticking to whole, organic foods. Substituting one or two meals per day with their vegan protein shakes, fit chews, fizzy energizing drinks, detox tea, fiber booster. The 30 day kit comes with a 30 day supply of these items. I mentioned the bacon and coffee to give you a visual as to what I am up against while undergoing this detox. I was never a big bacon person, but it does smell good! And coffee is my absolute best friend. I used to want to go to sleep sooner just so i could wake up and have that magnificent first cup of the day. Here's a little back story on me, for perspective. If you scroll throught my past blogs, you will see that I am a chronic overeater. I have struggled with what to eat, and more importantly, how much, most of my life. I try to think back to when I started noticing how much I was eating or when it I started to gain weight. When I was a kid, candy was my thing (no surprise there). And lots of sugar and salt. I remember one of my favorite snacks was to get a package of chocolate pudding mix and put it in the bottom of a glass. Then pour milk on top, and slowly take spoonfuls of the powdered sugary chocolate mix and milk together. Heaven! M and Ms and Twix bars were also favorites. A friend actually gave me a super sized bag of them for Christmas because my affinity for them was well known. I would have to say in high school is when i started to gain some weight (I was always super thin as a kid). Its common to gain weight at this time for all people, but my eating habits could and should have changed. I was never huge, just uncomfortable at times, but no big deal. After High School I was kind of lost. I had a falling out with my family and basically did not have a stable place to live. I had this boyfriend, an Ivy league type, who I Idolized. He was everything my family was not, and I wanted in! He had a plan that we would move up to Cape Cod (he had an obsession with the Kennedy's!) after HS Grad (mine, he was 6 years older) and we would work and play for the summer. He left ahead of me. I was to meet him there, and I was determined to look great! For 1 month I ate nothing but ONE tuna fish sandwich every day. I lost alot of weight, and I got a new dress and a perm, and when i stepped off that Greyhound bus, I got the AH HA moment I was hoping for: HOW AMAZING YOU LOOK, VICKI! And I felt amazing! It was great while it lasted. Pretty soon we developed a routine. I got a job as a hostess at a fine dining restaurant, while he got a job as a waiter in a really fun, on the strip, mexican happy hour type of place. If you put the pieces of the puzzle together you will soon figure out they could not possibly fit. He was older, he was of age to drink and go to bars (which he liked to do ALOT (he was an alcoholic, I have come to believe, and since his Mom for sure was, its even easier to come to that conclusion). So, I would work my shift, get off around 9 and could not go to where he worked because it would turn into a bar after dinner hours, and they were proofing at the door. So, after he was done working, he would stay and hang out with the staff and drink till close. Maybe not so much at first, but by the time we had spent half the summer together in our rented motel room, it was becoming more frequent. I got lonely, depressed, didn't know anyone. So Ben and Jerry's became my best friend. I would visit them every night or day after my shift. I just ate alot to numb my pain. Pain from the fantasy I manufactured gone awry, from my relationship starting to fall apart after a year and a half, being alone and not knowing when we returned to New York what would happen and where I would live. By the end of the summer I had gained all the weight back and more I am sure, although I didn't weigh myself at the time, just went by how I felt. And it was hard because I had brought clothes that fit my skinnier body, so things were not feeling good on me. When we returned to New York, we lived with his alcoholic mother till i got my own place with a roommate. That was no fun, for sure. Thing never recovered between us after that summer, and we broke up about 6 months later (he with me, because I appeared to be a loser with no prospects. He was around all of these interesting, intelligent girls at Columbia, and I had nothing going on, just my Restaurant job and a stint at a community college, which I hated. I don't blame him as i look back. So, for the next few years I auto-piloted my way through life, always trying to figure out a plan, but getting increasing anxious. I did try out various classes, and travelled to exotic places like Malta, but I was uneasy the whole time wondering what would become of me. So, eating was a familiar way to console myself, and I did. I would binge eat until I just couldn't eat any more and then I would fall asleep and it was okay for a while. I moved to New York city, where the beautiful people live, and realized I needed to get into some serious shape, so I started exercising regularly. I got a job bartending at a nightclub, and quickly realized that it was more important in the eyes of the gorgeous bartenders working there, that a girl has a killer body than a pretty face. I had a very pretty face, but my body was no match for the girls that either worked there or dated my dream guys behind the bar. I was determined to compete, I lost weight, got noticed, even got some dates and make out sessions, but I came to realize, I had very little in common with the jocks whose attention I so craved. They were all fun wrestler types, really HOT, but that's all i got from them. NEVER MIND, in the final analysis. Weight went up and down throughout my twenties, (the heaviest for me was in Malta when I was 20 because once again, I isolated myself from people i knew. I was lonely in a foreign place!) I stayed with friends while i was there but it is a very different culture and I didn't have too many other friends besides them. Then I met my husband to be. On one of our first dates we met at a diner for breakfast. I took a double take as he ordered Belium Waffles with Ice Cream! Who does that??? The low fat craze of the 90's was in effect at this time, so I was eating low fat (highly sugary, caloric, but who knew?) Bran muffins!!! What shocked me is that he ordered exactly what he wanted without a second thought. And HE WAS IN SHAPE AND kind of RIpped! I do beleive that is the secret to it all: have what you want when you are genuinely hungry and you won't overeat because you know you can have it again whenever you want. But, now with my knowledge of nutrition, I couldn't possibly eat the tempting junk food, partly because of what i know, I really don't want it, no matter how good it tastes. So with my new partner, since he wasn't dieting or exercising, i eventually stopped to0 and just ate what I wanted when I wanted, and for the most part I did not overeat, and for the most part, did not binge! Food and I just existed, and I thought, WOW I am SO OVER THAT! No more!!! WHEW! And then I started getting older. And what i was eating was beginning to show up in unflattering ways. My brother in law, a few years back, sealed the deal when he off handedly mentioned I was gaining a little weight. Now, to know him is to love him, so don't get mad at him. He is awesome, and was half kidding, but I knew that I wasn't as comfortable as I could be and what i was eating could improve. So I started going to the local kickboxing class. Then I subbed a few times for the teacher. Then I would teach an occasional step class. Then I started gettting obssessed again about the whole diet, exersise thing Then I got certified to teach zumba Started teaching classes Got certified as group exercise instructor Continued teaching all the while monitoring my weight, food intake, etc. (I can honestly say I am happy for these turn of events becase I feel much healthier, and I know I am with my diet choices! I have a realy interest in how best to fuel, care for and maintain the body!!) So here I am today. Through these years of teaching, I have been at my very lowest weight and now hover around a bit heavier, but no where near where I had been in Malta. Gosh, I haven't been there in YEARS! And I never will. I set my standards and now work to attain my goals. I want to be towards my lowest weight and stay there, but I keep telling myself that maybe because it is so hard to get there, that I am not supposed to be there. THIS DETOX WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR ME ONCE AND FOR ALL. IF I CUT OUT ALL THE JUNK, WILL IT BE EASY TO MAINTAIN THE WEIGHT I WANT? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. THIS IS ENOUGH TO READ TODAY. I will be back tomorrow with facts from my experience. I guess I just needed to write about this, and didn't even know it! So, here it is, be kind ladies! Exposing oneself is never easy, but my goal is to help others and I think it does to hear of other's struggles too. Now, do I push the PUBLISH BUTTON?