A Lot to Digest

I named this post a lot to digest because i have a lot on my mind. There is not a day that goes by that i do not think about health and weight strategies, issues, etc. A couple of weeks ago i was in a bad place in terms of my diet. I was knowingly overeating, but just could not seem to control it. I blame it partly on my cycle each month which i firmly beleive contributes to my cravings. Some times of the month it seems so much easier to resist going for seconds or not eating that peice of candy. I blame it also on the fact that i was well aware of what i was doing, and thus starting creating restrictions for myself (which doesn't work very well for me). Like "i will eat no carbs today, or i will not eat any candy today". The more i say "I will NOT" the more i crave those things.

The great news is i am in a good place right now! And this is how it goes with us all i think. I just read this book which helped me put a label on what I am: Yes, i would have to say i am a chronic overeater. I hate that term, but you gotta call it what it is: On a regular basis (perhaps not every day) i eat until i am mildy uncomforable (on a bad day till i am very uncomfortable). I do not listen to my body's cues, my hypothalmus, i beleive, that says Okay, you've had enough. You're not hungry anymore. That is the funny part. Many times I feel satiated enough to stop eating after only a few mouthfuls. BUT I FEEL DISSAPOINTED, CHEATED! I JUST WORKED REALLY HARD ON PREPARING A HEALTHY MEAL AND I AM FEELING SATISFIED (NOT FULL) AFTER A FEW BITES? WHAT A RIP OFF! I am going to eat more cause it is so delicious...(unfortunately i am a good cook!)

As i mentioned earlier, i am on a good roll right now. Over the Easter Holidays i definitely put on a few pounds. When i got back from the holiday, as usual, i was afraid to go on the scale, so i avoided it for a few days. I go right back to my healthy routines and in a day or two I am back to where i started more or less. WHAT I WANT TO CHANGE IS THIS UP AND DOWN ROLLERCOASTER. I DON'T WANT TO OVERINDULGE TO THE POINT OF BLOAT AND WEIGHT GAIN. Mind you, deprivation is not my thing and shouldn't be. MODERATION IS THE KEY.

Getting back to the book i was reading, "The End of Overeating" by Dr. David Kessler. He describes in great detail the lenghts that the food industry go to to make our foods addictive: by layering salt, fat, and sugar they are assaulting us with a powerhouse punch, creating "hyperpalatable foods" Those are the three most addictive food attributes, and they know it. These additives create an addictive junky response similar to a drug addict to drugs. I have known this for quite some time, but have also known that i do not eat many of the processed foods he speaks of. I prepare most of my own foods from scratch, and to put it plainly, i just eat too much of them. If i do eat the foods he speaks of, yes, it is extremely easy to overeat them. M and Ms, Doritos, chips...you know what i am saying. I loved this book for many other reasons though. As I mentioned, the label for what i am facing is called "conditioned hypereating" where i have consistenly exposed myself to the "cue, urge, reward, habit" cycle. As Kessler states, "many people with this take a long time and struggle had to reach the place of not obsessing about food and eating normally...until they do they can easily fall into the trap that painfully reminds them of those childhood finger cuffs that hold you tighter as you pull harder" And yet he goes on to say that awareness, especially in the beginning of your journey to control (because as I hate to admit, and he mentions frequently, this condition never ends, it something you need to live with, but it can get ALOT easier with the proper steps)is imperative. "Many people can only protect themselves (and make the smart choices) with a focus that initially borders on obsession". I can tell you from experience this is true. As Mr. Kessler discusses, it makes resisting junk food and overindulgences alot easier when your resolve is absolute. In other words, the moment you start with negotiating with yourself (oh i deserve that Brownie, i've been so good or Oh i will just have a little), the battle is over. I am not saying you can never have your trigger foods again. But the first step is to identify them, the circumstances and "cues" that lead you to indulge. Then you need to KNOW BY RESISITING THEM FOR A PERIOD OF TIME IN THE BEGINNING that you can in fact, resist, and feel awesome because you did.

I will get into more for a long time to come about what Dr. Kessler speaks of. It is so refreshing to see my problem in writing from a very well respected source who admits he too has this problem which compelled him to write the book. (he is the former commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration as well as the Dean of the Yale School of Medicine) THis passage really hit home with me:

With its power to take us hostage, a stimulus-response disorder like overeating can be deeply demoralizing. When something as seemingly inconsequential like a chocolate chip cookie assumes so much power in our lives, it can makes us feel that we're somehow less than fully capable adults. That leads to distressing thoughts: Why am I unable to stop this behavior? How can I be so inadequate. But when you gain the upper hand, the opposite effect can occur. The satisfaction of breaking the cylcle that leads to the pursuit of unhealthy food (and choices) can be reinforcing it is own right!

I wanted to make one more point before ending. I stated i was on a roll. By that I mean that for the past week i have been making smart choices (eating until my body said, okay, i'm good...eating half or 3/4 of my meal and putting the rest away for later and when i was hungry again, eating it..what a concept! No wine or alcohol which always makes me overeat and puffy (next time i will talk about morning self assesments!), watching salt and carb (but not restricting), limiting sweets (but not restricting). It has been a good week, lost the Easter Weight...but as Kessler reminds us, "Few of us are immune from the eating behavior motivated by cue-stimulated wanting. The ubiquitous presence of food, large portion sizes, incessant marketing, and the (American) cultural assumption that it is acceptable to eat anytime, anywhere, have combined to put more people at risk..Like much of the information on a computer hard drive, the neural pathways that created the cue-urge-reward-habit cycle cannot easily be wiped out. They can, however, be managed"!